Introduction

Hi all,

Just a quick note to introduce myself and the reason for this blog.

My name is Liz. I am married to a wonderful man named Greg. I have a daughter, Erin, from a previous relationship who is almost 17. This page was created to share our new angel, Kyle. He was born on September 28, 2008 and went home to God on February 7, 2009 from SIDS. In his short time here on earth, he gave us the most joy and happiness of our entire lives. I don't know how often I will be on here to post, but I just felt I had to do something in his memory. Here is Kyle's story.

My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years. We thought he was sterile and that we would never have any kids of our own. (Which we were completely content with.) I have been off of birth control for 6 years. Then, last February, I found out I was pregnant. Talk about a shock. I had a daughter that would be 16 by the time the baby was born. We kept joking that we would be having one go to college and one going to pre-school. But when Kyle was born on September 28th 2008, it had to be one of the most happiest days of our lives. He was a perfect baby. The nurse even told us that he scored a 'perfect 10' on the apgar test. Greg kept calling Kyle his 'perfect 10 baby boy'. He was such a happy baby for the most part. He did have a slight spell of colic, but nothing too bad. The night it happened, I was out of the house with my daughter at choir practice and by husband was watching the baby. At 9:05 pm, I received a call on my cell phone from a police officer telling me I had to get home as soon as possible. When I got home, they had already taken Kyle to the hospital. He wasn't breathing. When we got to the hospital, they had his heart beating again, but he was on a vent. They then transferred him to Riley's Children's Hopital. This all happened on a Wednesday night. My baby boy never woke up. We had to 'unplug' him on Saturday the 7th of February. The absolute worst day of my life. The absolute hardest thing for me to understand is why God gave us this perfect gift; one that we thought we would never have. We were happy with just the three of us; Erin, me and Greg. Then the blessed day Kyle came and made our family complete. Then to take him away from us just four short months later. I honestly don't know if I will EVER get over the pain I feel. There is no more normal. I used to be a happy person. Everyone always told me that I always had a smile on my face. I don't think I will ever be that person again. I feel guilty about smiling now. All I want to do is cry. I feel soooo guilty for not being at home. All of the If's: If I was home it wouldn't have happened. If I was home I could have given him CPR and saved him. etc., etc. I don't think I will ever get passed that.